


Your Love is My Drug

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 18:18:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1657925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Mr Free</p><p>I am doing this because you and this person will not show your<br/>feelings unless given a strong enough ‘push’.</p><p>And you are in love with someone.</p><p>He is sitting to your left.</p><p>Keep him alive for exactly 72 hours and he’ll be fine.</p><p>You won’t be able to take that necklace off until that time.</p><p>Good luck</p><p>Sincerely, Cherubim</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

_**RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-** _

It was really weird. They didn’t actually believe what was going on at first but they soon came to believe it was really happening and how badly it could end.

But explaining from the beginning would probably be best.

It started when Gavin had been sent a package, the small box arriving on the Ramsey’s doorstep late one afternoon, addressed to Gavin Free with everything written in beautiful cursive. There was no return address, no indication as to who it was from but Gavin decided to open it anyway.

“Is it Gwenyth Paltrow’s head?” Geoff joked from the kitchen as he prepared dinner, Griffon at the kitchen table, helping Millie with her homework.

“No, it’s...a necklace?” Gavin said with confusion, looking inside the box. He walked over to the couple, taking the pendant out of the box and showing them, the chain silver and the pendant like an m with a dash at the end of the middle line. It was silver with what looked like inlaid ruby in the design. It was stunning, probably very expensive.

“Do you know who sent it?” Geoff asked, washing his hands and walking over, holding the pendant and examining it closely. Gavin rummaged through the box it had come in to find a card, written on old style stationary with what looked like a fountain pen.

“’If their love is true, let their heart be drawn, like a moth to the flame, only to you. If your heart is for them, let your love be addictive, killing them when cut off, like a rose from its stem’,” Gavin read from the page, handing the letter over to Geoff.

“A poet, this person is not,” Geoff muttered, looking over the letter before looking back up at Gavin, who was reaching up to put the necklace on. “Woah, woah! What are you doing?” Geoff asked and Gavin shrugged.

“Putting it on?” Gavin replied as if Geoff was really the crazy one.

“It’s a random piece of jewellery. How do you know it’s not covered in some sort of corrosive shit or a mark for some hit man to come shoot you on your way to work?” Geoff warned and Gavin just rolled with eyes with a laugh.

“You’re too paranoid, Geoff,” Gavin said, clipping the necklace on, feeling the oddly comforting weight on his chest. He fiddled with the pendant, feeling a little dizzy for a moment but he shook it off and put the box down on the coffee table, going into the kitchen to help Geoff make dinner.

_**RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-** _

_Hands running over his skin, soft lips ghosting over his stomach, moving up, tracing every dip and curve on his lithe body, making their way to his lips. Gavin’s eyes were closed the whole time, his lips slightly parted for quiet gasps to slip through, his hands running up the person’s sides, not feeling that curvy frame of most women, instead feeling the slighter hips and flat chest of a man._

_He felt a hand slide down his stomach, gripping him, making him arch up off the bed, warm, gentle breath fanning over his laps in quiet pants, his own soft whimpers filling the room. The pair of lips hovered over his ear, hushing him, gentle fingers stroking his jaw as the lips moved back down to his neck, the hand around his erection slipping away, replaced instead, by the heavy, comforting weight of the other person, pressing him into the mattress, grinding their hips against his._

_“Please,” Gavin whispered, afraid that anything louder would destroy this moment with...who was this person? He felt the affection in every touch, in the way his skin burned with every brush of contact._

_“Gavin,” the person breathed and Gavin recognised the voice. He tried to open his eyes to see them, to know who it was-_

Gavin’s eyes opened. It was daylight, staring up at his bedroom ceiling, the duvet had slipped down during the night, leaving his already bare chest exposed to the cool air of the room. He didn’t need to look down to know that there was a definite problem underneath the sheets from that dream, the Brit closing his eyes, pressing a palm to his forehead to try and bring that voice back, to try and remember some detail as to who it was.

They felt familiar. The fingers on his skin, callused in a very specific way, the hands large and strong. Gentle. Comforting.

Loving.

Gavin’s body shivered from the vague memory, a hand coming up to absent-mindedly trace where those lips had been, his hand brushing over something cool and metal over his collar bone. He pulled at it, raising the pendant from yesterday to look at, the sun glinting off of the silver before letting it drop back onto his chest, running a hand through his hair as he tried to calm himself down enough to leave his room without embarrassment.

He got dressed quickly, just a pair of dark jeans and a white and grey Henley before he walked out into the living room, greeting Geoff, Griffon and Millie, making himself a cup of tea before he sat down for breakfast, the dream vanishing from his attention.

“You’re still wearing that thing?” Geoff asked as they drove into the office, Gavin shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah. I like it,” Gavin said, looking at his friend with a smile. Geoff shook his head with disapproval, turning his head back to watch where he was driving, pulling into the office parking lot. Gavin and Geoff grabbed their bags, walking into the office, greeting their co-workers. Geoff instantly went for his desk, trying to get right to work, Gavin offering to grab him a cup of coffee from the kitchen, his friend calling thank you before he disappeared into the room.

Gavin made his drink and Geoff’s, carrying them into the office, handing Geoff’s to him before settling at his own desk, raising his head to greet Michael when he noticed something odd. Michael was staring at him. Just...not angry or expecting something. He looked sort of...dumbstruck. Like Gavin was some sort of beautiful celebrity that had just walked into the office, leaving Michael scrambling to collect his thoughts.

“Michael? Are you okay?” the Brit asked and Michael seemed to snap out of it, looking back at his computer.

“Y-Yeah. It’s nothing,” Michael said, returning to work. Gavin looked at him in confusion, frowning before he shook it off and started his own work. Soon enough, he got an email, opening it and expecting some message from Gus or Burnie about the podcast but instead, it was from an account he didn’t recognise, the username ‘Cherubim’ making him raise an eyebrow. He opened the email, finding a message that made him shift a little in his seat.

_Dear Mr. Free_

_It has started._   
_If you have any questions, feel free to reply to this email_   
_Good luck_

_Sincerely_   
_Cherubim_


	2. Chapter Two

**_ RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH- _ **

Gavin paced back and forth in the bathroom of the office.

 _‘It has started’_.

What did that mean? What started? Did it have something to do with the way Michael had been looking at him earlier?

Or that dream?

Gavin tapped his phone against his hand, looking at the screen again, the email from this ‘Cherubim’ open, a reply set out to, asking who they were, what they were talking about?

The Brit stared at the email, biting his lip in thought before he erased the message he wrote, just changing it to one question.

‘ _Did you send me the necklace?’_

He clicked send before he walked out of the bathroom, shoving his phone back into his pocket as he walked out into the kitchen, running a hand over his face, as if he were trying to wipe away the anxiety, putting on a smile as he walked into the office. Michael was the only one there, still working on his editing, his attention being pulled to the door when Gavin walked in. He offered Gavin a small smile to welcome him back from his break, going back to working. Gavin noticed something about Michael, more than that small smile.

The way his shoulders were tensed, his leg was jumping, the tired look in his eyes. He looked exhausted.

“Hey. You alright?” Gavin asked quietly, bringing Michael’s attention back to him. The auburn haired man nodded with a half-smile.

“Yeah. Just...a bit of a headache, I guess,” Michael said with a small frown as if he was confused as to why he had one. Gavin was a little confused too. Michael generally didn’t get headaches unless he’d been doing a rage quit recording and he’d seemed fine earlier.

“Need something for it?” Gavin asked, knowing Michael often forgot to keep painkillers in his desk in case he did get headaches, but Gavin always kept some for him. Michael just shook his head.

“Nah, I’m good. Feeling better already,” the New Jerseyan said, and he honestly did look a little better just in the time he’d been there.

“Alright...” Gavin said, turning back to his work, his mind moving back to the necklace and that email. Speak of the devil, his computer went off with an alert, the email notification in the corner, telling him the sender.

He opened it with a sense of urgency, eyes scanning over the email, chewing on his nails, that bad, nervous habit he’d never been able to shake.

_Dear Mr Free_

_Yes. I sent you the necklace._

_Would you like to know why?_

_Cherubim_

Gavin’s knee jumped up and down, typing his ‘yes’ back and sending as quickly as he could move his fingers. It only took a couple of minutes for him to receive a reply, just making that unsettling feeling in his stomach worsen.

_Dear Mr Free_

_You are in love with someone. When you put that necklace on, that someone will, as soon as they look at you, become an addict. You’ll be their drug. They won’t be able to stay away from you. If they do, they’ll go through their own personal withdrawal hell until you are together again. Like any other drug, it’ll start off small, just headaches, chills, maybe shaking hands. But once they get used to you, start to become tolerant of you like a junkie does their favourite substance, it’ll get worse. They’ll get fevers, vomiting, hallucinations. Being more than a foot away from you will feel like being in Hell._

_And because you love them, seeing them like that will be_ your _hell._

_If you love them, you have a chance of curing them. If they love you in return, everything will be fine._

_Sincerely_

_Cherubim_

Gavin read and reread the email, feeling sick to his stomach. He replied as soon as he was able to get his hands to stop shaking.

_Why are you doing this? What if I’m not in love with someone?_

Gavin clicked idly, trying to pretend to look busy while the other Achievement Hunters filtered into the office, Geoff throwing him a worried look. Gavin just shook his head, mouthing ‘later’ at his friend before going back to his computer and seeing a notification pop up.

_Dear Mr Free,_

_I am doing this because you and this person will not show your feelings unless given a strong enough ‘push’. And you are in love with someone. He is sitting to your left._

_Keep him alive for exactly 72 hours and he’ll be fine. You won’t be able to take that necklace off until that time._

_Good luck_

_Sincerely_

_Cherubim_

Gavin didn’t realise his breathing had sped up or his heart was hammering in his chest until he felt a hand on his shoulder, making him jump, pulling him from his musings to look up at Geoff.

“Let’s talk. Come on,” Geoff said quietly, motioning for Gavin to follow him and the Brit did so without hesitation, not seeing the worried glance his auburn haired friend cast him as they walked out of the room.

“What’s wrong, Gav? You’re freaking me out,” Geoff said after he pulled Gavin into an empty room, watching as the Brit chewed his nails and paced nervously.

“That necklace from yesterday? The person that sent it also sent me an email,” Gavin says, then he explains what they’d told him, getting more and more worked up until Geoff just put his hands on the younger man’s shoulders, keeping him still.

“It’s okay. Have you tried taking the necklace off?” Geoff asked and Gavin nearly smacked himself in the head. He’s letting himself get worked up over what’s probably just a prank. He brings his hands around to the clasp of the necklace, dragging his fingers over the chain and frowning when he could find it.

“G-Geoff? Can you see the clasp?” Gavin asked and Geoff moved it around, confused when he couldn’t find a clasp either. “It’s too short to just pull off. I swear there was a bloody clasp,” Gavin said, starting to panic. Geoff raised his hands like he was calming down a finicky horse.

“It’s alright. Just breathe. I’ll break it off, okay?” Geoff said and Gavin stood there, waiting while Geoff took the chain in his hands and tried to pull them apart so a link would break. Nothing. Geoff let go, clenching his hands and releasing them, the chain cutting into them painfully.

“That fucker’s really on there. Come with me,” Geoff said, taking Gavin’s arm and pulling him along to the warehouse, walking up to Ryan’s desk and grabbing a pair of wire cutters, Ryan watching while he struggled to cut the chain.

“Want me to try?” Ryan asked and Geoff handed him the wire cutters, watching the other man try to break the chain, just for the handles of the wire cutters to bend before the screw in it broke, sending little pieces flying across the room. Gavin’s eyes widened and he looked terrified.

“What do we do?” he asked, a terrified tone to it that made Geoff’s fatherly nature make an appearance.

“Hey, kiddo, you’ll be fine. Everyone’s gonna be fine. We just...we need to tell Michael what’s going on,” Geoff said and Gavin bit his lip. Geoff knew about his feelings for the New Jerseyan but if they told Michael about the necklace and the emails, they’d have to explain why it was affecting Michael and not someone else.

“Bollocks.”


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

3/?  


**_ RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH- _ **

Geoff sat Michael in the empty conference room, explaining what was going on while Gavin paced outside, far too afraid to be in the same room as the American, instead just pacing back and forth outside, tugging at the necklace until it dug into his neck, just wishing it would give and snap off so this would stop.

When Michael finally came out of the office with Geoff, he looked a little confused.

“So?” Gavin asked from behind his hand, still biting his nails, just for Geoff to smack his hand away, not wanting to deal with a bloody handed Gavin again.

“Michael’s told me he’s been getting headaches today. But only when you leave the room. He was confused too but when I explained what’s been going on, although this still sounds batshit crazy, it sort of links up. Of course, we have no idea why he was picked for this, we’ll just deal until the 72 hours is up, cool?” Geoff said and Gavin frowned. They knew exactly why Michael was picked. Gavin was in love with him, but why would Geoff...

He was giving Gavin a chance to tell him himself, rather than have it completely ruined by this situation. Despite all that was going on, Gavin should still be the one to tell Michael, not Geoff.

“It’s so weird,” Michael said, but shrugged and smiled a little awkwardly. “I guess we’re stuck together for a while,” he said with a shrug and Gavin felt a little pang in his heart, Michael using the word ‘stuck’ like they didn’t want to be around each other.

“Y-Yeah,” Gavin said, returning the smile with a little bit of hurt behind it, looking down at his shoes.

“Until this blows over, you’re staying at Michael’s apartment. I don’t think this...curse or whatever is gonna care that you live with us. Best if we keep Michael from getting too bad during this,” Geoff said, the other men agreeing with him.

“I’ll follow you back after we finish work and pick Gavin up. Let him grab some clothes and shit,” Michael said and that seemed to be the plan. They spent the rest of the work day attempting to act normally and for the most part, they could.

Except...

Michael kept looking at Gavin. And his right hand, the one closest to the Brit, would inch towards Gavin’s desk before pulling it back when he noticed. It happened a number of times, Gavin catching that creeping hand just before it would make contact, the extremity darting back to its original place.

Then it got stranger.

At first, Michael was fine, chatting with the other Hunters, recording like normal, having fun. Then he started getting a little quieter. He wasn’t laughing with the others and would rarely comment on things going on around him, only speaking when spoken to and with clipped, concise responses.

“You alright, Michael?” Gavin asked quietly, leaning in and whispering to his friend so the others wouldn’t hear. Michael looked up from his computer, his tired looking eyes fixed on Gavin. He grimaced a little and shook his head.

“I feel like shit. Like a railroad spike’s being driven into my skull and my hands keep shaking and fucking up my edits,” Michael admitted and Gavin was rather stunned by his honesty. Although it made sense. He wasn’t going to get through this by being brave and keeping his mouth shut. Gavin bit his lip, feeling guilty about this happening to Michael, just because the Brit had feelings for him, then an idea occurred to him.

“I’m meant to be your drug, right? This whole stupid thing is based on the idea of you being, like, addicted to me. So...maybe you need another dose,” Gavin said and Michael looked confused for a moment, the confusion switching to shock when Gavin leapt out of his chair and tackled Michael to the ground, Gavin tickling the older man while the others looked on.

“What the hell happened?” Geoff asked, stepping in and separating the two. He’d noticed the almost sickly appearance of the New Jerseyan and Gavin deciding to tackle him just seemed bad form.

“He’s being a tosser,” Gavin defended, but the look he gave Geoff said he had a perfectly good reason to do it that he wasn’t going to tell the roomful of people. Geoff frowned and shook his head.

“Dumbasses. It’s just about quitting time anyway,” Geoff said, checking the time on his watch before saving all of his work and collecting his things. “See you guys tomorrow,” he said as everyone packed up their own things and got ready to leave for the night.

As they left the office, Gavin looked at Michael to check if his theory had been right. And it seemed it was. Michael looked less pale, there wasn’t that little crinkle in his brow he had when he had a headache and he generally seemed...chipper, to put it in a word.

“Feeling better?” Gavin asked, just in case there was some other side effect but Michael just looked at Gavin, the gears in his head turning as if he’d only just noticed he was feeling better.

“Yeah, actually. That was...so you touching me helps?” Michael managed to work out and Gavin shrugged.

“I guess so. So ‘s long as you don’t mind me touching you every now and then, I think we’ll be good,” Gavin said and there was a moment of awkward silence between the pair, Gavin’s cheeks flushing a little as he realised how what he said could have been taken, waving at Michael and muttering a ‘see you in a bit’ as he went.

He walked off so quickly he didn’t notice the red tinting Michael’s cheeks as well.


	4. Chapter Four

**_ RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH- _ **

Gavin packed up some clothes and all of his important items, taking a moment to look at his reflection in his bathroom mirror, scowling at the way his hair stuck up in every direction and just generally at his face. He spotted the glint of silver underneath the collar of his shirt, reaching up to button the shirt a little more so he couldn’t see the chain anymore. Just the idea of this necklace and what it would be doing made Gavin sick.

“You ready, man?” Geoff asked, bringing Gavin’s attention back to the rest of the world. “Michael’s looking kinda sick again,” the older man mentioned as Gavin walked out of the hall with a duffle bag in his hand, spotting the curly haired man in the living room. Apparently just the drive alone had affected him horribly, looking pale, sweaty, shaky and a little like he was going to pass out.

“Jesus, Michael,” Gavin said sympathetically, walking up to his friend. Michael blinked a little too slowly for Gavin’s liking as he looked up at the Brit, swaying a little from the effort of concentrating on something. Gavin grimaced, putting the duffle down on the floor and wrapping his arms around Michael, feeling the older man just fall into the embrace, sighing from the instant relief.

“You realise Ray’s gonna use this for fucking tumblr, right? Just you two hugging like this will send those people _fucking insane_ ,” Geoff said and Michael shrugged.

“I can deal with the homo backlash if it means I don’t feel like I was run over by a truck every 20 minutes,” Michael mumbled into Gavin’s shoulder, closing his eyes and just letting the pleasant feeling wash over him. It was only a second or two later, that Gavin pulled away, examining Michael’s face, pleased with how much healthier he looked just from a five or ten second hug. But this was only 10 hours into their 72 hours addiction cycle. It was only gonna get worse.

“Got everything?” Michael asked, watching Gavin pick up the bag, nodding.

“Yeah. Let’s got then,” Gavin said, waving at Geoff and saying goodbye on the way out the door. Before Michael could follow after, Geoff grabbed his arm, pulling him in so he could talk without Gavin overhearing.

“Be careful, alright? Gavin’s...just try not to be awful to him,” Geoff asked and as nasty as the words seemed, the tone said ‘take care of him’. Michael stared at his boss, trying to work out what he meant by it. It’s not like they had this horrible friendship. They joked around a lot but they never took the jibes seriously.

“Yeah. Y-yeah, I know,” Michael said, still looking a little confused as Geoff let go of his arm, letting him walk out the door to find Gavin waiting, leaning against the side of Michael’s car.

“We good?” Gavin asked and Michael nodded, mumbling incoherently as he unlocked the car, climbing into the driver’s seat, Gavin jumping into the passenger seat and dumping his duffle at his feet. The drive was mostly silent, a headache quietly building in Michael’s head, but Gavin being right beside him kept it at a tolerable level.

“This...I’m really sorry, Michael,” Gavin mumbled, cutting through the silence and Michael glanced over at the Brit, seeing his friend looking down at his fingers twisting in the strap of the duffle absent-mindedly. He just looked so guilty.

“It’s not your fault Gav. It’s...it’s fucking weird and like something out of a dorky fantasy story but its not like you asked for it,” Michael tried to comfort the younger man, but the lack of response worried him. Instead, he decided to reach across the centre console, placing his hand on Gavin’s knee and giving it a small squeeze to try and make him feel better. Gavin looked at the hand, then up at the man it belonged to with a small look of surprise.

“Can’t have you being all mopey and shit while you’re staying with me,” Michael said, pulling his hand away, his eyes returning to the road, trying to fight back the small blush in his cheeks while Gavin just kept staring at him, dumbstruck at the willing display of affection.

“Y-Yeah. Can’t have that,” Gavin parroted quietly, the rest of the drive to Michael’s apartment spent in silence.

When they got there, Gavin stood awkwardly in the living room, watching Michael as he puttered around, putting some frozen pizza on for dinner and grabbing himself a beer, raising it up for Gavin to see.

“You want one?” Michael asked, the Brit nodding as he placed his bag beside the couch, moving over to sit at one of the bar stools beside the kitchen counter, taking the beer Michael offered him and drinking down a rather large portion of it. He’d been to Michael’s place before, of course. But it was before he and Lindsay had split up and before he’d accepted his feelings for the New Jerseyan.

So it was an unnerving experience to sit there. Together. No one else. Knowing that at some point in time he would actually _have_ to touch Michael, even if it was just a hug. The Brit normally couldn’t even think of flirting with someone without enough alcohol to put down a horse in his system.

“Slow down, Gav. You alright?” Michael asked, taking a sip of his own beer, apparently completely unaware of the rising tension in the room. Gavin just nodded as he continued drinking his beer, finally stopping with a small gasp for air, placing the bottle on the counter.

“So...games?” Gavin suggested, already feeling a little braver from just the taste of alcohol on his tongue. Michael smiled and nodded, going to get the xbox set up for them.

As time went on, the yawns got closer together and there were more and more misplaced blocks in Minecraft, making Michael call it and suggest they get some sleep before work tomorrow, the clock having just ticked over to 1:30am without them realising. Gavin nodded in agreement, his mouth wide open with a yawn.

Gavin set up on the couch as Michael walked off to his room, the distraction of the video games and the beer helping them forget why Gavin was really there. Gavin hadn’t been asleep for an hour when he was pulled from sleep by a thud in another room and a crash. The Brit sat up, heart pounding as he looked at the front door, seeing the locks still in place and the noise was coming from Michael’s bedroom.

“M-Michael?” Gavin called out, the silence bringing him to his feet. He walked down the hall, barefoot, shirtless and wearing only a pair of tracksuit pants, shivering from the cool air of the apartment he hadn’t noticed while he was asleep. He approached Michael’s bedroom, opening the door and seeing his friend on the floor, shaking almost violently, sweating, his cheeks flushed as he lurched, retching and whimpering. He was barely conscious, his brown eyes clouded by sleep and pain.

“Michael!” the Brit shouted, dropping to his knees beside Michael, placing a hand on his arm, the touch doing little to help Michael with his pain. Gavin decided to ‘up the dosage’ so to speak. If his touch was like a drug to Michael, maybe increasing the level of contact would help fix it, take him out of this painful withdrawal.

He gathered Michael up in his arms, picking him up off the floor and laying him in bed, laying down beside him and wrapping his arms around the shivering mess of a man, their bodies touching from head to toe with Gavin’s nose buried in Michael’s hair, eyes closed and he prayed this would work.

Soon enough, the shaking grew less and less violent, until finally, he stopped altogether, whimpering quietly into Gavin’s neck, still hovering in that state between waking and sleep. Gavin ran a hand up and down Michael’s back, making sure he was at least good enough to not die from shock if he moved away, pulling back a little to look down at Michael’s face. The New Jerseyan opened his eyes, a little bit of focus in them as he looked right back at Gavin.

“That fucking sucked,” Michael mumbled a little shakily into Gavin’s neck, pressed so close to Gavin that the Brit could feel each muscles relax before Michael finally pulled away properly, sprawled out on his stomach, trying to breathe through the lingering nausea.

“What was that crash?” Gavin asked, watching his friend breathe deeply.

“Knocked some shit over in the bathroom trying to throw up dinner,” Michael muttered into his pillow, opening one eyes to look at Gavin. “We’ll leave it for the morning. I’m really fucking tired,” Michael said and Gavin went to get up and go back to the couch, just for Michael’s hand to reach out and grab his wrist.

“Y-You can stay here, you know. Makes it easier if I start going into withdrawal again,” Michael said, posing a reasonable argument but Gavin could hear that tone in his voice, that slightly desperate hint to his voice. He was still in pain, even if he didn’t wanna show it and look weak to Gavin.

“Yeah. S-sure. Couch is buggering up my back anyway,” Gavin said, sliding into bed with Michael, lying on his side, facing Michael while the American pulled the covers over them, a hand resting on the bed between them. Gavin eyed it, worrying his lip with his teeth before reaching out, interlocking their fingers.

“I-In case being close isn’t enough,” Gavin mutters, closing his eyes and managing to fall asleep. Michael takes longer, just staring at their joined hands, running his thumb over the back of Gavin’s hand experimentally, smiling at the pleased hum he receives from the sleeping Gavin and the small squeeze, the Brit bringing their hands up to his chest, holding them close while Michael just gazes at him, one thought on his mind.

If this is what he gets to see for the next 3 days, the pain is worth it.


	5. Chapter Five

**_ RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH- _ **

When Gavin woke then next morning, alone in Michael’s bed, the space where his friend was occupying last night still warm. He hadn’t been up for very long. Gavin sat up, looking around the room and seeing his bag from the living room sitting at the end of the bed so he could get changed in the room. There was the sound of something cooking in the kitchen and the smell of coffee and...pancakes?

Gavin got out of bed, shivering from the cool air hitting his skin, rummaging through his bag for something to wear to work. He glanced at his phone, the clock telling him he had around an hour before they needed to leave for work. At least it was a Friday and they could spend the last day of Michael’s withdrawal cycle in isolation. It would probably be the most painful if he was going to keep building a tolerance to Gavin.

The Brit got dressed in a light grey Henley and a pair of jeans, walking out into the living room. Michael was in front of the stove, one hand braced on the counter edge while the other was over his mouth, his eyes clenched shut.

“Michael? Are you okay?” Gavin asked and the American turned to face him, his face pale and this look in his eyes as he looked Gavin up and down. Then he _launched_ himself at Gavin, nearly knocking him over from the force, his hands gripping Gavin’s hips, burying his face in the younger man’s neck. Gavin tensed a little, trying not to fall over, his hands coming up to rest on Michael’s shoulders.

“Mi-Michael?” Gavin squeaked but the older man didn’t answer. Instead he just pursed his lips, pressing them against Gavin’s neck, then dragged his tongue over the skin, making the Brit tense, a noise akin to a whimper escaping his lips, one that would have been too quiet to hear had Michael not been standing where he was. That noise dragged the New Jerseyan out of his trancelike state and he pulled back enough for his mouth to no longer be in contact with Gavin’s skin, let alone his tongue.

“Sorry. Guess the whole, you being a drug thing is fucking with me more than before,” Michael mumbled, still holding Gavin close, relaxing a little as his headache and shakes disappeared. “It’s getting much worse, much quicker,” Michael admitted and Gavin felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He was the cause for this. He should have listened to Geoff and not put the necklace on. Sure, his faux-father thought it was poisoned or a hitman mark or something but this is close enough. Gavin wrapped his arms around Michael, stroking a hand up and down the older man’s back.

“’M sorry,” Gavin mumbled into Michael’s hair, but the New Jerseyan pulled back, looking up at Gavin.

“Not your fault, Gav. Some psycho is just fucking with us. We just need to get through the next two days and it’ll all be over,” Michael said, looking less pale and pained, trying to give Gavin a small comforting smile, which Gavin returned, albeit hesitantly.

“Yeah. Just two more days,” Gavin said, pulling back from Michael and although he felt back for feeling this, he was a little disappointed that he’d only be able to stay with Michael for another two days, have an excuse to hold him like he did. Have an excuse to sleep in the same bed as him.

**_ RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH- _ **

As the day went on, Michael needed more and more contact. Gavin would try to touch him as much as possible, brushing a hand against his, nudging his leg with his foot. But during a recording, they were forced apart and it got bad enough that they had to call a break so Gavin could pull Michael into a closet and hug him until his hands stopped shaking.

This pain he was going through scared Gavin, but the pain itself wasn’t as bad as the fact that Michael just kept trying to hide it from them. He’d take painkillers, just to end up nearly overdosing because they didn’t affect him whatsoever. It took Gavin stopping his hand from reaching for the bottle when a particularly bad episode nearly knocked him out of his chair.

“Geoff, I think Michael should go home,” Gavin asked, more like pleaded as he sat beside Michael, the American’s head resting against his desk as he retched, nothing but bile coming out. He hadn’t mentioned to Gavin that the last time he ‘went to the bathroom’ he’d been throwing up everything he’d eaten all day.

“Yeah. I’ll drive you guys. He’s in no state to drive you both. I want you to take care of him,” Geoff commanded and Gavin didn’t need to be told.

“Don’t you think he should go to a hospital? He looks pretty bad,” Jack asked, honestly concerned for his friend.

“No,” Michael piped up from his desk, spitting into the trash bin underneath his desk. “J-Jus’ a stomach bug. I’ll be fine in a couple days. Just need to sleep,” Michael said, waving it off and trying to put on a brave face. He was trying his hardest to help keep this situation under wraps and as admirable as it was, it definitely didn’t help soothe that guilt in the pit of Gavin’s stomach.

“Feel better, Michael,” Ray said, frowning with worry and Michael thanked him, trying to get out of his desk chair, just to nearly fall over, only barely being caught by Gavin before meeting the floor. The Brit wrapped an arm around Michael’s shoulders, leaning down and grabbing his and Michael’s things, making sure not to release his grip on his friend. Michael leant into the contact, mumbling a quiet thanks to him as he was lead to the door, out into the car park and to Geoff’s car while the older man climbed into the driver’s seat. The others got into the back, Michael shivering as he clutched Gavin in his arms, the tension subsiding a little.

“When’s he gonna be fixed?” Geoff asked stiffly and Gavin pulled out his phone while he kept Michael close to his side, the older man whimpering in his neck as a shock ran through his spine.

“I put the necklace on at around 8 o’clock Wednesday. It’s 2 on Friday now, so...Another 30 hours,” Gavin worked out, putting his phone back and wrapping his newly freed arm around Michael, helping hold off the pains whines coming from his friend that scared Gavin more than he’d admit. Michael seemed almost delirious with pain and contact seemed to be helping less and less. But, in that small moment of internal panic and because of a particularly hard turn Geoff took, Gavin was forced to adjust his grip, pushing Michael’s shirt a little bit and exposing some skin that Gavin covered with a hand.

Michael stopped shaking completely.

Gavin paused, taking his hand off of Michael’s side and putting it back over his shit, the ride going smoothly for another couple minutes before Michael started shivering again. Gavin decided to test his new theory. He slid his hand underneath Michael’s shirt to splay his hands on his waist, feeling the shaking stop again, almost immediately.

“Michael? Does that feel better?” Gavin asked and Michael nodded, sighing against Gavin’s skin contentedly.

“Yeah. Much better,” Michael replied quietly, curling more into Gavin’s side. The car pulled to a stop outside of Michael’s apartment, letting the two out.

“If he gets bad, call me. Alright? If we need to, we’ll take him to hospital in case he...” Geoff trails off. He knew kids that got into drugs. And withdrawal got bad.

Like, cardiac arrest if they’re removed from their drug, bad.


	6. Chapter Six

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When Gavin got into Michael’s apartment, having to fish through the other man’s pockets for his keys because he wasn’t able to keep his hands still enough to grab them and unlock the front door. Gavin half-carried, half-led Michael into the apartment, shutting and locking the door behind him.

As soon as Gavin pulled away from Michael to turn on the kettle to make them some coffee and tea, Michael whimpered, reaching out to grab Gavin’s wrist, trying to keep some of that contact that drove the pain away.

“I’m sorry, I’ll stay,” Gavin said, sitting back down beside Michael, feeling the American curl around him again, shaking horribly. Gavin decided to try out his theory from earlier, a hand snaking around Michael’s back, sliding under his shirt so his entire palm was spread out over Michael’s lower back, feeling the warmth radiating from the smooth skin there.

Michael let out a little sigh as he felt the pain fade away until it was non-existent. Gavin moved his hand away a little, so it was hovering just over his body but made sure there was no skin touching. He counted 2 minutes before Michael started shaking again from the pain of withdrawal.

“Take your shirt off,” Gavin ordered and Michael didn’t question it, just pulled his shirt off, the pain-induced fog in his brain squashing down any attempt at arguing he might have come up with. Gavin pulled up his sleeves, wrapping his arms around Michael again, this time, his arms against bare skin as he rested his forehead against Michael’s shoulder. The American relaxed instantly, the skin to skin contact.

“Oh thank fuck. You’re a genius, Gavin,” Michael murmured, finally feeling entirely relaxed as he pulled away, albeit hesitantly, waiting for the pain to return. When it didn’t, he let out a sigh of relief, as did Gavin. The Brit stood up, turning on the kettle and checking the fridge for something to eat.

“It just keeps on getting worse,” Michael said, rubbing his hands over his eyes, shivering a little from the cool air on his now bare torso. Gavin tried his hardest to keep from looking at him, making their drinks as he mumbled in agreement.

“Take your shirt off,” Michael said, bringing Gavin’s attention to him as he brought the mugs over, pausing as he placed them on the coffee table.

“What?” Gavin asked, nearly dropping the cups in surprise, his cheeks heating up with a deep blush.

“More skin on skin contact,” Michael said simply, managing to hide his nervousness at suggesting Gavin take his clothes off as well. Gavin fiddled with the hem of his shirt, flushing a little.

“O-Okay. But can it wait until we go to bed?” Gavin asked quietly, sitting down beside Michael and curling in on himself a little. He was nervous enough about holding Michael. Holding Michael with fewer clothes on? Just...Gavin felt a little like he was going to pass out from the way he was blushing.

“Yeah, sure. Sorry, I forget you’re...like, self-conscious and shit,” Michael mumbled, the tension rising in the room as Michael shifted a little bit away from Gavin, like he was trying to give Gavin a little bit more space, but Gavin just moved closer again, automatically. It was already deeply ingrained that he needed to be close to Michael or else bad things would happen.

“It’s fine,” Gavin said quietly, picking up his mug and taking a sip. Michael saw the way Gavin was slumped in his seat. Gavin was forced to be here because of his friend. It didn’t mean he had to feel uncomfortable the whole time.

Michael reached across the couch, taking Gavin’s hand in his, interlacing their fingers and giving a light squeeze. Gavin looked up from his mug and over at Michael, then down at their joined hands, turning it over and examining it like some new species of animal. Gavin usually initiated any contact, knowing that Michael needed it, but this...this was more intimate. It was more than just physical contact that Michael was making, it was a show of affection.

“Michael,” Gavin rasped, his voice suddenly unable to work, because when he looked up again, Michael was leaning in, one hand holding Gavin’s while the other was stretched out over the back of the couch as he moved in closer, until his breath was warming Gavin’s lips.

“Mi-“

“Gav, sh,” Michael whispered before he pressed their lips together, the Brit tensing a little in surprise before he melted into the contact, reaching out awkwardly to put his tea back on the table before using his newly freed hand to cup Michael’s cheek, making Michael sigh from the pleasant feeling seeping into his skin from the contact, both from the stupid necklace curse bullshit but because it was Gavin and Gavin felt and tasted fucking amazing.

“Michael,” Gavin whimpered, his cheeks burning from the way Michael reached up, caressing Gavin’s jaw, moving down to his neck.

“Gav, I want you,” Michael whispered against Gavin’s lips, hearing the whine, feeling the way Gavin moved a little closer, arching into him because there wasn’t enough contact. Not nearly enough.

Gavin’s eyes snapped open while Michael’s lips moved against his again. Michael needed contact. He’d kissed Gavin’s neck earlier that day, _licked him_ even, just because he was starved of his addiction for ten, _maybe_ 20 minutes. Did he actually even want Gavin?

“Gav?” Michael said with confusion when Gavin pulled away, looking down at his lap as he got his breath back from the kiss.

“We...I just want to know if this is really want you want. B-But I can’t trust what you say while you’re like this,” Gavin said, quietly. All he wanted to do was leave, go hide in the bathroom and cry but Michael needed him here. He didn’t want Michael to be in pain just because Gavin wanted to have a chick moment. “If you still want me after all this is over, tell me then. O-Okay?” Gavin asked, refusing to meet Michael’s eye because if he did, the American would see the tears collecting in those hazel eyes. He’d see the pain in them at pushing Michael away when all he wanted for _so long_ was for Michael to hold him close, to kiss him...

To be his.

Michael nodded, feeling a little hurt but he understood.

“Okay. Okay, if that’s what you want,” Michael whispered, stroking Gavin’s cheek, pressing a light kiss to Gavin’s forehead, then his nose. “I’ll wait. W-We should wait. But I promise, what I feel won’t change,” Michael said reassuringly and Gavin didn’t answer.

Because he didn’t want to believe in a promise he didn’t think Michael could keep.


	7. Chapter Seven

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It hit 8pm that night, Gavin’s brain supplying him with a little counter, reminding him, every time he looked at a clock that it was less than 24 hours until the effects of the necklace were gone. And when it 9pm, Gavin begged that this was the worse it would get.

Michael had managed to hold out for a while, around an hour after the extended period of skin on skin contact. Apparently kissing helped Michael quite a bit and when the withdrawal started seeping in, leaving him feeling exhausted, in pain and nauseous, he tried again.

“No, Michael,” Gavin said, pushing at the auburn haired man’s chest as Michael tried to attach his lips to Gavin’s jaw. Again. For the third time. The American made a quiet whining noise in the back of his throat, settling back against Gavin’s side, his head resting against the Brit’s shoulder while his fingers idly ran over Gavin’s forearm.

“I’m sorry,” Michael mumbled, completely ignoring the movie playing on the television in front of them. Gavin turned his head as best as he could to see Michael’s face but his expression was hidden from view by his curls. “I know this is weird and you want to hide or something, anything but be near me while this is going on. And I know how much it hurts,” Michael whispered, stilling his hand so his fingers just brushed Gavin’s knuckles.

“But I’m not sorry to be with you. Like this. It’s actually something I’ve wanted for a-...Gavin? Are you...crying?” Michael asked, looking up at the Brit when he felt something warm dripping onto his arm half resting in Gavin’s lap. Gavin was, in fact, crying.

“Gav. Gavin, calm down. Sh,” Michael cooed, sitting up and pulling the Brit close so his face was buried in the crook of his neck.

“I-It’s my fault this is happening to you. It’s my bloody fault all because I-“ Gavin’s words stopped in his throat, his arms curling around Michael, fingers digging into the bare skin just above his shoulder blades, holding Michael close both for Michael’s temporary addiction and for his own more long term one.

The sudden excess contact made Michael sigh with pleasure, his brain clearing more of the fog that kept him from thinking of anything other than putting his lips to Gavin’s skin and never moving away. He felt Gavin’s nails dig into his back, the tears drip onto his bare shoulder and he wrapped his arms around Gavin.

“Gavin, this is in no way your fault. Understand?” Michael said quietly, pulling back a little bit even though his body screamed at him, begged to stay close to Gavin but Michael needed to see Gavin’s face. He put a curled finger underneath Gavin’s chin, tilting his head up so his watery hazel eyes looked right into Michael’s.

“It is. You were affected because I have feelings for you. I’m in love with you and you’re being punished for it,” Gavin whimpered and Michael hushed him, pressing gentle kisses to Gavin’s forehead and cheeks, running his fingers over his temples and through his hair, trying to convey through touches what he couldn’t seem to do with words. That Gavin was free from blame, that even if he did, Michael forgave him.

“You’re tired. We should get some sleep. It’s getting late,” Michael whispered against Gavin’s hair and the Brit chuckled in response.

“You just want my shirt off,” Gavin joked weakly but he stopped when he was met with a serious expression instead of a smile.

“I just want you to be okay,” Michael said simply. Gavin couldn’t help the way his heart thumped in his chest. Michael was being tortured by an involuntary addiction to Gavin, plagued by the pain and here he was, worried about Gavin’s emotional state.

“Y-Yeah. Bed sounds good,” Gavin agreed, pushing himself to his feet, Michael not far behind as they made their way to Michael’s bedroom, Gavin fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt, watching Michael crawl into bed then stare at Gavin expectantly before the Brit pushed down his anxiety and pulled his shirt off. It was weird because he’d been shirtless in bed with Michael before. But now? Know what Michael’s lips taste like? Know what his tongue feels like on his neck? It made his react a little different.

Michael almost moaned in appreciated when he and Gavin’s skin made contact again, the younger man lying on his side, his back pressed against Michael’s chest with the American’s arm wrapped around his waist snugly, the other cushioning Gavin’s head. Michael risked a little kiss to the back of Gavin’s neck, a gentle press of lips on skin that rewarded him with a pleasant tingle on his lips. Gavin sighed in contentment, relaxing in Michael’s arms and dozing off. Michael followed soon after and the pair were silent, until the little countdown clock in Gavin’s brain hit the 12 hour mark, 8am the next morning.

Saturday mornings were meant to be quiet. Lazy, waking up to light touches from your lover, maybe even a nice, deep kiss.

Not the noise breaking glass. Of someone choking for air, sounding like they’re organs are being ripped apart from the inside after your windpipe’s been crushed.

Gavin opened his eyes, no longer feeling the comfortable warmth of an arm around his waist or the solid presence against his back. The Brit sat up like a shot, looking around the room frantically to find Michael on the ground beside the bed, clawing at his chest with one hand while the other tried to pull himself back onto the bed, a broken lamp beside him, the shattered glass cutting into his arms and side.


	8. Chapter Eight

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“Oh god,” Gavin gasped, jumping off the bed, mindful of the glass as he pulled Michael close, making sure they were touching as much as possible. Michael shivered, hiding his face in Gavin’s shoulder while the pain and nausea subsided.

“What happened? We were cud-...We were close,” Gavin said, “you should have been fine,” the Brit pressed his lips to Michael’s, knowing that kissing helped a lot more than just touch. Michael sighed into Gavin’s mouth as he ran his tongue along the younger man’s, arching into the touch. When they parted, Michael pressed small kisses to Gavin’s jaw, running his hands up and down the Brit’s sides.

“I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back, I was still half asleep so I just...laid down near you. I guess I moved too far away,” Michael mumbled, feeling the pain fade until it was gone, along with the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Gavin shivered as Michael continued kissing his neck, letting him work out his withdrawal. Gavin looked over at the clock on Michael’s bedside table. 8:06am. Nearly 12 hours left until this was all over.

“We need to clean up those cuts,” Gavin said, trying not to look at the blood on Michael’s skin. Blood made him nauseous. Michael nodded, pushing himself off the ground with Gavin following right after, taking Michael’s hand and leading them out to the bathroom where Michael sat on the edge of the bath, a hand running up and down Gavin’s spine while the Brit rummaging in the cupboard under the sink, trying to find the first aid kit. Gavin set the kit on the floor beside him, opening it before he placed his hands on Michael’s skin, examining the cuts and managing to hold back his nausea.

“There’s still glass in there,” Gavin muttered mostly to himself, grabbing a pair of tweezers and some gauze. He removed all the pieces still imbedded in his skin before cleaning off the blood, giving Michael’s knee a little squeeze when he winced and hissed. He taped a bit of gauze over the larger and deeper scrapes, leaving the other ones open to the air cleaning up the mess before packing everything away.

“Do you wanna go back to bed?” Gavin asked, standing in front of Michael, a hand on his shoulder and the other in his hair, stroking the curls slowly, making the American lean into the touch, forehead resting against Gavin’s stomach.

“No. Too awake,” Michael mumbled into Gavin’s skin, his own hands resting on the younger man’s hips, thumbs stroking over the bare skin of his waist and Gavin realised how intimate this looked, both of them only in their underwear, Gavin standing in between Michael’s legs. His cheeks went red but he didn’t move at all. He liked this, the proximity, the affection. It just hurt not really knowing if it was a side effect of his addiction or if they were his real feelings.

“Video games?” Michael suggested.

“We play them at work all day, how can you still like playing them at home?” Gavin asked with a chuckle. Michael smiled in return, looking up at Gavin.

“Watch a movie and cuddle?” Michael suggested and Gavin nodded, sliding his hand along one of Michael’s arms and intertwining their fingers, pulling Michael along, grabbing a blanket from the bed to take with them, goose bumps forming along his skin from the cool air, a shudder running down his spine from the cold. At least until they got to the couch, Michael dropping into the cushions before wrapping arms around Gavin’s waist, pulling him into his lap and nuzzling his face into Gavin’s upper back.

They watched movies, Michael paying more attention to how Gavin’s skin felt against his than what went on in the film and Gavin paid more attention to the clock on the wall, counting down the minutes until 8pm that night.

At noon, Michael’s arms were tense around Gavin’s waist, biting back a wince. At 2pm, he started to shake again. At 4pm he couldn’t hold back the pained whimpers and Gavin shifted uncomfortably in Michael’s slightly too-tight grasp.

“It’s just four hours left, Michael,” Gavin whispered to Michael as the credits to the final movie they watched rolled, the American letting out a pained groan.

“Gav. C-can I kiss you? It helps. _Please_ ,” Michael begged, pressing his lips to Gavin’s neck and jaw, tangling a hand in the Brit’s hair. Gavin moaned at the feeling, all of his worries from before disappearing so he tilted his head down, pressing their lips together, chastely at first, then it heated up, Michael’s tongue mapping Gavin’s mouth, counting his teeth while his hands gripped Gavin’s hips, the Brit shifting until he was straddling Michael, rolling his hips into Michael’s.

“Michael,” Gavin sighed against Michael’s lips, running his hands over Michael’s bare, pale skin, loving how it felt under his fingers, whimpering at the bulge in Michael’s pants pressing against him.

“Can we-...Gavin, please,” Michael gasped, a hand slipping around to spread out over Gavin’s lower back, loving the way he arched, the almost fluid movement of his spine. Gavin mewled at the touch, wishing it was lower, wanting there to be more skin, more movement, more _everything_. But he was still worried. Still afraid that once this was over, the clock struck 8pm, Michael would realise that Gavin was the just the object of his temporary addiction.

Michael seemed to sense that Gavin was hesitant, pulling back from their kiss to look Gavin in the eyes, doing his best to ignore the intense pain flooding through him. Gavin’s eyes were closed as his chest heaved, starved for breath and for Michael at the same time.

“Hey,” Michael whispered, Gavin’s green, lust-blown eyes open halfway, looking into Michael’s. “Only if you want this, okay? And I promise, when this is over, I’ll still feel the same. I swear on everything I care about,” he said quietly. Gavin closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against Michael’s, rolling his hips against Michael’s again as he nodded.

The Brit wanted to move to the bed where it would be more comfortable, where they’d be more free to move but he didn’t want to pull away, didn’t want to lose even the slightest amount of contact. Michael seemed to make the decision for him, releasing his grip on Gavin’s hip and it’s spot on his cheek to drift down to his thighs, sliding his hands underneath them, and holding him steady as he stood up, carrying Gavin to his bedroom and lying him down, aligning their bodies.

“Michael,” Gavin sighed, snaking his arms around, his fingers digging into Michael’s back as the American nipped at Gavin’s throat a hand slipping down to palm at the slight man’s clothed erection. Gavin let out a high pitched whine, thrusting into the touch, trying to get more friction. Michael’s fingers slipped into Gavin’s boxers, hand wrapping around the younger man’s erection, stroking lazily, just trying to make him gasp and mewl again.

“M-Michael. I need you,” Gavin breathed, lips parted and cheeks deliciously flushed and eyes barely open. He looked gorgeous. Michael joined their lips together almost frantically as he slipped Gavin’s underwear off of him, then his own before pressed their bodies together again, moaning at the feeling seeping into his body from Gavin, hands spread over Gavin’s body, trying to feel, memorise every inch of skin on him, getting drunk off of the sensations running through him.

“You’re so beautiful, Gavin,” Michael whispered, his lips brushing over Gavin’s neck, then his collarbone, drifting down to his stomach and hips, as if he were worshipping every inch of him. “ _My_ beautiful, stunning, gorgeous Gavin,” Michael purred, returning his hand to Gavin’s length, stroking him as he reached into the bedside table, searching for the lube and a condom.

Gavin blushed deeply, trying to hide his face from Michael, just to have him tilt it back to face him, looking into his eyes lovingly, giving him a light, affectionate kiss on the nose before he went back on his mission for lube. He pulled it out of the drawer, uncapping the tube and spreading it over his fingers, pulling Gavin in for a kiss as he teased his entrance, swallowing the moans slipping from his lips as he pushed the first finger in, using his free hand to rub soothing circles into his hip, trying to help him relax.

When Michael slipped in another finger, stretching his lover, Gavin winced, his nails digging into Michael’s back as he pulled away, biting his lip. The American whispered reassurances to him, kissing him sweetly, trying to distract him from the pain. Soon enough, Gavin was ready, whining, his body begging for more stimulation.

“Please,” Gavin mewled and Michael kissed him once more, ripping open the condom and rolling it on, slicking up his erection before positioning himself at Gavin’s entrance, looking down at his lover, silently asking if he was alright to continue. Gavin gave him a nod, stroking the skin of Michael’s back as an apology for scratching him, spreading his legs a little more to give him better access.

“I love you, Gavin,” Michael whispered, pushing into the Brit, making him gasp in a mix of pleasure and pain.

“I-I...Michael. I love you too,” Gavin whimpered, barely able to speak. Michael took a moment, stilling himself inside of the younger man, trying not to overstimulate himself or Gavin. It felt amazing, being inside of Gavin, hearing him return his feelings. When he felt his orgasm slip away, he shifted his hips, waiting for Gavin’s approval, just to feel Gavin thrust back against him, whimpering.

“Please. Michael, please just...god, I need you,” Gavin almost sobbed in desperation. Michael pulled out, thrusting into Gavin slowly, trying out as many angles as possible, trying to find the one that would make the Brit moan and scream. Gavin writher underneath Michael, arching into every touch, gasping with every thrust. They moved together, the heat and friction and _everything_ pushing them both to the edge.

“Gavin, I-I’m gonna...” Michael growled, his hips stuttering as he neared his climax. Gavin was beyond words, an incoherent mess, one final brush against his prostate from a particularly deep thrust tipping him over, making him come with a choked scream, clenching around Michael, the increased pressure on his erection pushing him over right along with Gavin.

The pair laid there, Michael staying inside of Gavin for just a little longer before pulling out, taking off the condom and tying it off, throwing it into the trash bin nearby without moving away from the Brit, not wanting to separate from him at all.

“Hey, Gavin?” Michael whispered, lying nearly on top of Gav, pulling the blankets over so they covered them from the waist down, resting his head over the Brit’s heart.

“Yeah?” Gavin said, running a hand lazily through Michael’s hair, his eyes closed as he came down from his over-sensitive high.

“This means...I mean after all this is over in,” Michael peered over at the clock. 5:30pm. “Two and a half hours, will we be...more? ‘Cause I would really like that,” Michael mumbled into Gavin’s chest, closing his eyes.

“As in, boyfriends?” Gavin asked, feeling Michael nod against his chest. “I’d like that too,” Gavin replied. Then Gavin tensed. Two and a half hours left. How bad would the pain get? How long would this contact work to keep Michael from dying from his withdrawal.


	9. Chapter Nine

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Gavin was finding it hard to hold back tears.

Michael was wrapped around him, they were both still naked from their time together earlier and even with the close contact, Michael was just shaking apart. He was biting his lip and barely concealing moans of pain, his skin feverish, his eyes unfocused when he managed to pry them apart and the only reason he wasn’t throwing his guts up from the intense nausea was because he’d already emptied the contents of his stomach earlier, his body lurching with dry heaves but his teeth were clenched together so tightly from the pain that he’d probably end up choking on it if he had anything left to throw up.

“It’s okay Michael. Just another five minutes,” Gavin whispered, staring at the clock, counting down the seconds. Michael could barely hear him, shivering violently, before it just...stopped.

“Michael?...Michael?” Gavin whispered, shifting and nudging Michael gently. Nothing. No whimpers, no movement.

No breathing.

“Michael, answer me, p-please,” Gavin begged, his voice cracking as he sat up, Michael falling limply to the side, his eyes closed and just...too relaxed. There was still another four minutes on the clock, there’s no way he’d be this loose and calm in that much pain unless he was...

**_ RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH- _ **

Geoff’s attention was taken away from the food he was preparing for dinner for his family by his phone. The ringtone told him it was Gavin and he didn’t even bothering with washing his hands before he grabbed his phone, having not heard from Gavin or Michael since they’d left on Friday.

“Gav? Hey, is it over?” Geoff asked but all he could hear was a mess of sobbing. “Fuck, Gavin, talk to me. What’s happened?” Geoff asked calmly, trying to hide the fact that his heart was pounding.

“ _M-Michael’s stopped breathing a-and I don’t know what to do,”_ Gavin sobbed, sounding like he was about to pass out from a panic attack.

“Gav, kiddo, listen to me. Do you know CPR?” Geoff asked, praying that Michael wasn’t too far gone to save.

“ _Y-Yeah,”_ Gavin whimpered.

“I’m gonna call an ambulance and I’ll be there as well. I’ll be right over. Just try to get him back, okay?” Geoff said, hearing Gavin make a noise of acknowledgement before the phone hung up, Geoff running for his keys as he called 911.

Gavin breathed into Michael’s lungs, then pressed into his chest, pleading that the older man would just start breathing on his own. It was hard to breathe for two people when the only person capable of breathing was in the middle of a panic attack.

Michael couldn’t die, Gavin kept telling himself. He would wake up and he would be fine and they could _finally_ just be together. Tears streamed down Gavin’s face, working Michael’s heart for him, just barely pressing his lips against Michael’s for the umpteenth time when the American pulled in a painful sounding gasp of air, his whole body jolting forward.

“Michael, _fuck_ ,” Gavin cried in relief pulling Michael in, burying his face in his friend’s shoulder as he cried. Michael pulled in gasp after gasp of oxygen, clinging to Gavin the same way the Brit was holding him, eyes wide with panic as adrenaline surged through him.

“Gav,” Michael rasped, his breathing evening out and his heart beat slowing down. “I think it’s over,” he said, Gavin pulling back and looking over Michael.

“Are you in pain?” he asked.

“Y-yeah but...not like before. It’s like, I’m sore and it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest but, I don’t think I’m addicted anymore,” Michael cupped Gavin’s cheek, wiping away his tears.

“You scared the living shit out of me,” Gavin breathed, resting his forehead against Michael’s, taking a moment to calm himself down and thank whatever higher power there was that he’d managed to bring Michael back, getting shaken out of their little world by the harsh knocking on the front door.

“ _Gavin! It’s Geoff, open the door!”_ Geoff called from outside the apartment and, of course being the shy man he was, instantly dived for his pants, throwing Michael’s at him, just for Michael to drop onto the bed, his exhausted muscles unable to keep him upright.

“Michael!” Gavin yelped, seeing the older man go limp against, his heart stopping in his chest, just for Michael to grumble and push himself up a little with shaking arms and for the Brit to breathe sigh of relief.

“Gavin, I spent the last two and a half hours pretty much constantly having fucking seizures from pain and I was technically dead for...four minutes. Can you not drop me?” Michael said as he managed to pull on his pants, looking up at Gavin when he was met with silence. The Brit was crying again, this time silently with his hand covering his mouth and Michael only then realised how bad what he just said was.

“Gav. Gav, I’m sorry, that was...I shouldn’t have said that. Fuck. Not 10 minutes into our relationship and I’m already making you fucking cry,” Michael said, propping himself up against the headboard and Gavin didn’t say anything, just pointed towards the other room and mumbled about opening the door for Geoff.

When Gavin left, Michael let out a sigh and let his head drop forward, cursing at himself for that massive dick move. Gavin had watched him _die_ and brought him back and Michael had to make a joke about it, didn’t he.

“Fuck,” Michael mumbled, looking up when Gavin returned with a panicked Geoff on his tail, followed by two paramedics, a woman and a man. Michael was just about to say he was fine now and didn’t need an ambulance while the paramedics swarmed around him but Geoff leant in close to whisper to him.

“You upset Gavin really fucking bad. ‘Nightmares for years’ kind of bad, so you’re gonna let them take you to the hospital and you’re not gonna argue,” he whispered and Michael looked over at Gavin, who was still crying a little bit and Michael nodded, letting himself be led to the other room and placed on a stretcher. He was loaded into the back of the ambulance, Gavin climbing in after him when Geoff insisted he go with them and the older man would follow in his car.

“Gavin, baby, it’ll be fine,” Michael whispered, taking the Brit’s hand in his and squeezing it lightly. Gavin nodded but, of course, didn’t stop crying. After not crying for such a long time, he didn’t know how to stop.


	10. Chapter Ten

**_ RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH- _ **

The fact that Michael had told Gavin in the ambulance that everything would be okay made what the doctor said much worse.

“What the fuck do you mean, I’m ‘too injured to be discharged’?” Michael snapped at the doctor at the end of his hospital bed. The doctor, Collette Eames sighed and took her glasses off, rubbing at her eyes.

“You’re a very ‘straight to the point’ kinda guy. So may I be frank?” she asked and Michael waved an arm to say ‘go the fuck ahead’. Dr Eames pulled out a diagram of a human body with a disturbingly large number of red circles on it and her pen.

“You did a crap tonne of damage to your body. There are multiple burst blood vessels throughout your entire body, mostly in your head which is why you have bloodshot eyes right now, even though you can’t see them. There’s evidence of severe muscles stress which is why your arms and your legs and your _everything_ hurts so much right now,” she listed, pointing at the various points on the chart as well as at him. Michael felt Gavin, who had been sitting beside him for his entire hospitalisation period, squeeze his hand a little, listening to everything the doctor said and no doubt blaming himself for every injury.

“Whatever caused that sort of muscles stress is likely to have also caused your heightened blood pressure _as well as_ the tightening in your veins and arteries which increases the likelihood of you getting a blood clot and having a stroke,” Collette said, staring at the two men. Michael was doing a surprisingly good job at keeping a straight face but Gavin looked about ready to break down and the doctor noticed.

“I’m sorry. In my opinion, just from looking at your chart and your partner here, I do not recommend your discharge. I would recommend keeping you here for observation for another few days. We’ll schedule some exams and make sure you heal up a little more. Three days is what I’m asking as an absolute minimum,” the doctor said, leaving the men to talk.

“You should stay here,” Gavin said, stroking the back of Michael’s hand with his thumb. “Best if you get checked out and sleep here for a few more nights rather than keel over at home, right?” the Brit said with a sorry attempt at a reassuring smile, his voice cracking as a few tears ran down his face. He raised his free hand to wipe them away, only to have Michael do it instead, stroking his cheek.

“I’ll stay if you get some sleep,” Michael said quietly. Gavin shook his head, sniffling and putting on that same awful smile that made Michael’s heart crack.

“I’m fine, Michael. I’d rather stay here,” the younger man insisted, despite the ache in his back from sitting in the chair he’d pulled up beside Michael’s bed since he’d gotten there.

“I didn’t say leave. Just sleep,” Michael corrected, shifting over in the bed, ignoring the throb of his muscles from the exertion, to make room for Gavin. The sandy haired man sat in the chair, looking like he wanted to decline, because he was afraid he would hurt Michael if he touched more than his hand, but his need for sleep and some comfort from his lover won out. He climbed onto the bed, lying down beside Michael, on his side so he could face the curly haired man, Michael on his back with his head tilted to the side, just looking at Gavin.

“It’s not your fault, Gav,” Michael whispered as he took their joined hands, pressing his lips to Gavin’s. The Brit didn’t say anything, just hiding his face in the pillow. “Would it make you feel better if I hunted the assholes that did this down and put their head on a pike?” Michael asked, knowing he was exaggerating but Gavin looked a little bit like he was considering it.

“What can I do to make you feel better, baby?” the American asked and Gavin just kept his face hidden.

“Not be hurt anymore,” Gavin said in a small voice, muffled by the pillow and Michael flinched a little. He didn’t say anything, instead, he just let go of Gavin’s hand and wrapped it around his waist, tugging gently as a request to come close. The Brit shuffled in a little more so his face was buried in the crook of Michael’s neck, careful not to put too much pressure on his lover’s body.

“We’ll be okay, Gav.”

**_ RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH-RH- _ **

_Epilogue_

Two weeks later, Michael was in good enough condition to go to work, his blood pressure sorted, no signs of clotting and he was able to move without feeling like curling in a ball and dying.

“I’m sorry,” Kara’s voice filtered in from the other room as the Hunters worked. “We’re not taking tours today, if you call us up, we can book a time for you to join the groups,” she said politely. How anyone could be polite when this just kept happening was beyond Michael.

“I’m not here for a tour. I’m actually here to pick up something from Gavin and Michael. My necklace they borrowed,” a female voice said and Michael’s eyes widened, looking at an equally freaked out Gavin before they bolted out of their seats and ran out to the lobby. Standing at the door was a young woman, maybe 20 years old with short, dark brown hair, wearing an AH t-shirt, a pair of grey jeans and a leather jacket with a motorcycle helmet under her arm.

“This is yours?” Gavin asked, pulling the necklace out from under his shirt. When everything was over, they’d tried to remove the necklace, just to nearly choke Gavin in the process. The woman smiled at them and nodded.

“Yes, it’s mine. Name’s Cherubim. Thank you for looking after it. It’s very precious to me. It’s helped a lot of people, in its unique way,” she said and Michael had to keep himself from hitting her. She walked forward, handing her helmet to Michael and reaching around Gavin’s neck, unclasping the necklace with ease before putting it around her own neck and taking back her helmet.

“Thanks. Also, congratulations, you two. You make a cute couple,” she said as an afterthought before she turned and walked away, that same sideways E tattooed on the back of her neck.

The boys just stood there and watched and in the back of Michael’s mind, as he laced his fingers with Gavin’s, that even though he was glad the necklace was gone for good, he would need to thank that girl.


End file.
